Grounding techniques, cognitive defusion and various types of talk therapy can all help

Once an intrusive thought takes hold, it can seem nearly impossible to shake. Like mental bouncy balls, these unwanted arrivals rebound off the walls of your mind and just keep coming back to you — no matter how hard you try to ignore them.

“Pushing intrusive thoughts away is never going to work,” says psychologist Lauren Alexander, PhD, “but there are other things you can do instead.”

9 ways to stop intrusive thoughts

To put an end to intrusive thoughts, work on practicing mindfulness — the act of paying attention to the present moment with intention. One way to do this is through various grounding techniques, which can help you manage intrusive thoughts when they occur.

“Grounding yourself in reality helps redirect your brain’s attention to the very real things around you,” Dr. Alexander explains. “This can prevent intrusive thoughts from gaining traction.”

So, does it work? Science says yes. Research shows that regular mindfulness training can decrease intrusive thoughts and help you better manage them when they do occur. Dr. Alexander delves deeper into specific tactics to try.

1. Label thoughts as intrusive

Telling yourself, “Wow, that was an intrusive thought. I don’t need to listen to that!” can set you up to move past it.

“Think of how many thoughts you have that you don’t get stuck on,” Dr. Alexander says. “If you can do it with other thoughts, you can also do it with unwanted ones.”

The average person has thousands of thoughts each day, including many you don’t take seriously (like eating potato chips for dinner or napping mid-workday). When you lump intrusive thoughts in with those sillier ones, it can be much easier to dismiss them.

2. Find reassurance in your other thoughts (and actions)

“I tell people they’re not responsible for their ‘first thought,’ since you can't control what pops into your mind,” Dr. Alexander says. “Instead, what you have control over is your ‘second thought’ and your subsequent thoughts — and your first action.”

Let’s say, for example, that you have an intrusive thought about hurting your child. Though that’s a scary thing to think, you can’t help that it entered your mind. But what’s your next thought? It’s probably all about how you don’t want to hurt your child — and the first action you take is to care for your child and affirm that you’d never harm them.

“All of this shows us that the intrusive thought existed only in our minds and had no influence on our actions,” she continues.

3. Separate yourself from intrusive thoughts

Cognitive defusion is a technique to help you detach from intrusive thoughts and let them pass you by. To do it, you attach specific visual imagery to your thoughts, which positions them as temporary and fleeting — without influencing or sticking with you.

You might imagine each intrusive thought as:

  • A cloud floating past you
  • Writing in the sand that’s washed away by a calm wave
  • A lily pad drifting by you as it heads downstream

“This meditative technique makes it easier for you to not get locked into intrusive thoughts,” Dr. Alexander explains. “It allows you to have the thoughts and set them aside without replaying them in your mind.”

4. Tap into your senses

The 5-4-3-2-1 exercise can help you tune into your surroundings and tap into the present. Shift your focus to identifying:

  • 5 things you can see
  • 4 things you can touch
  • 3 things you can hear
  • 2 things you can smell
  • 1 thing you can taste

“You can only smell, hear, touch, taste and see things that are happening in the moment,” Dr. Alexander points out.

5. Harness your breath

Various types of breathwork can help calm your nervous system, which can reduce the intensity of intrusive thoughts and the anxiety they cause. Try:

  • Diaphragmatic breathing, aka belly breathing, which teaches you to use your diaphragm correctly and use your lungs to their full capacity
  • Box breathing, a form of deep breathing popular with the United States Navy SEALs, where you slowly count to four for a total of four times
  • 4-7-8 breathing, where you breathe through your nose for four counts, hold for seven counts and exhale through your mouth for eight counts

6. Meditate

Practices like meditation and meditative yoga help you redirect your mind.

“They’re not an active attempt to avoid thinking intrusive thoughts,” Dr. Alexander clarifies. “They’re about focusing on the present and your senses.”

7. Go to a tranquil place

Guided imagery is a relaxation technique where you mentally transport yourself to a peaceful, calm setting, like a beach or a mountain range. It can distract and relax you, helping you change your state of mind and break free of intrusive thoughts.

8. Take care of yourself

Learning to relieve stress and manage anxiety can prime you to better fend off intrusive thoughts.

“You can think of your mental health or your emotional resources as having a finite amount, just like we all have a finite amount of money,” Dr. Alexander explains. “Emotional resources are the same way.”

Experiment with stress relief tactics to see what works best for you, and embrace self-care practices like eating nutritious foods, getting enough self-care and making time for exercise.

9. Work through it in therapy

When you can’t get past intrusive thoughts on your own, a therapist can help. A few types may be especially beneficial.

“With a skilled provider to guide you, you’ll learn to manage your anxiety symptoms and find helpful coping strategies,” encourages Dr. Alexander. “This can help extinguish some of the crippling anxiety that intrusive thoughts may bring.”

When to get help for intrusive thoughts

If intrusive thoughts are bothering you, or you can’t move past them on your own, or you just want a mental health provider’s input, those are all reason enough to seek help.

But if you’re concerned that you might act on violent thoughts and you’re worried for your safety or the safety of others, call 911 or your local emergency hotline. If you live in the U.S. or its territories, you can also call or text the 988 Lifeline for free, confidential emotional support and resources in your local area.